[D!]

Hab ein paar Vorschläge für dich...

last weekend, my boyfriend and I visited your "Chipperhall Circus”. I got the tickets from a friend of mine (ist nicht notwendig), and so I accepted the, in my humble opinion, (würd ich so nicht schreiben, oder zumindest ohne humble, außer du magst ein bissal unfreundlich klingen... Ich versteh aber irgendwie nicht, was du damit sagen magst. Du hast die Tickets von einem Freund und deshalb hast du den, deiner Meinung nach, teuren Preis akzeptiert? Willst du damit sagen, dass du selber nie so viel Geld ausgegeben hättest für Circus Tickets?) expensive price.
First of all, on arrival, we were guided to our seats. (After we had arrived, we have been guided to our seats - find ich aber nicht notwendig, glaub es reicht wenn du schreibst, dass du von den Plätzen entäuscht warst.) I was pretty disappointed, when I saw the seats we were (had been) brought to. They were not only in the back but also behind a huge tentmast. (Das die Sitze hinten waren, dafür kann der Typ im Endeffekt nix, sind die Karten... Oder waren alle Sitze zuweit weg? Das mit dem Zeltmast könntest du z.B. so schreiben: After I sat down I tried to focus the stage but I couldn't because of a huge tentmast situated directly in front of me.) You can imagine that we weren’t really happy about this. (this was not really lifting our spirits)
Nearly half an hour too late the show began. (We had a lot of time to enjoy the tentmast because the show started nearly half an hour later than scheduled.)
We had already finished our popcorn and the drink, for which we had waiting for more than 15 min, because there were only 2 people severing on circus bar. (Ich glaub es klingt besser wenn dus so schreiben würdest: In the meantime whe tried to get something to drink at the circus bar but there were only two waiters, which wasn't enough for that many people and so we had to wait for another 15 minutes. )
The first act was the clowns. (As you know, the show had been opened by the clowns.) Nobody in the tent laughed, expect the clowns themselves.
After the break the lions continued the show. Surprisedly (Accidently) one male broke out of the ring. Thank God that it (the lion) wasn’t malicious, but the circus staff was not (has not been) able to capture it in a short time. (for a while) It took them 7 panic-strickeny minutes to bring the lion back in the ring.
I’m afraid but, if I sum up everything, I've to say that the shown things were definitely inadequate if you look at (related to) your prices. Take this letter as a base for improvements on your ticket pricing or on the actors.